BONJOUR

i feel empty.

Empty in a way that I'm still on a perpetual journey of finding all the things that would fill up this chasm inside me. I always think; maybe too much than the usual. There are things I want to do yet I can't find the right time to accomplish it, let alone make myself do it. I have goals. Goals which would require my utmost creativity and willingness: and I know that it is something I would enjoy. Something that would help fill up the chasm that's starting to get bigger and bigger as I let each idea pass. 

Why am I feeling this way? Maybe because I expect too much from myself and feel different disappointed, every time I miss doing something. 

Maybe I'm too much of an idealist. I set too much for myself.

I don't know. 

But there's one thing that I extremely want to do right now. 

make films.

I miss making films so bad. I miss feeling the rush I get whenever something inspires me. As the idea travels across me, I want to do it badly, so badly. 

But I know I cannot.

{also, I'm starting this thing wherein I'm going to read a new book every week. Right now, I'm reading Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins}

P.S. I'm extremely sorry if my posts are like this, I don't even know why I find comfort in writing such.

I'll see you next week, or soon. 

I don't know.